I have been podcasting for so long or at least recording my thoughts on to some sort of device that it has almost become second hand.

When I drive around, I have a recorder strapped on somewhere and have experimented with a lot of different variations of recording/microphone placement in my car.

I love recording my outings to the supermarket, taco shop, or just about anywhere else.
I don’t do it because I love the sound of my voice but because I think that field recording is pretty cool.

The sounds of everyday life seem very interesting to me even if the recordings are boring to others even as it relates to me. What I mean by this is if Mick Jagger or Paul McCartney walked around all day, that might make an interesting project to some no matter how mundane the outing may be. However, that probably doesn’t work for someone like me no matter how interesting the situation. But I will continue to walk around documenting things with sound and sometimes video which is so much easier now with the small action cameras. Point is that I have relied on audio recording to take down my thoughts and prayers.

Now I find myself in a situation that even with audio recording equipment, I am unable to record myself either because there is way too much background noise or I am not able to project my voice so that it may be fit for publishing.

As a side note i do record myself a lot but only a fraction of those recordings ever make it to the internet for mass consumption. I either just store it away on a hard drive for a later use of some kind or if I do upload it, it goes to my secret podcast that very few people know about.

It’s not that I’m frustrated with not being able to record but more of an inconvenience now for when I have a thought that may warrant preservation.

That brings me to this. I have resorted to writing things down in a sort of documentarian way given my current situation.

I guess it started with me reading an entire fantasy trilogy in a few days due to me not having much to do while I convalesce in a facility that is not quite a hospital but not quite a nursing home. Something in between.

I read about 1,800 pages in about nine days. The books weren’t terribly difficult to read. Fairly easy reading in fact but time was abundant and I was motivated to not be bored out of my fucking mind. It had been a long time since I’ve read anything, let alone finished a set of books.

So with that, I guess I started writing stuff in a more prose like fashion starting with me recounting my stay here at what I call the Bella Vista Social Club.

I write down these stories of what is happening here and share them with my friends and brother. The more I wrote, the longer the messages and the more stylized and detailed the writings became.

I did want to vent but not make it sound like such a drag to my three readers. I wanted to keep it somewhat interesting and short story-like. Doing so did bring me some sort of relief from this place if not just keeping me from being bored to death.

Soon I started writing ideas for podcasts but in more of a blog type document just in case I took too long to record and forgot the details.

I have now written a few things including a short story this morning.

My typing on the laptop has gotten way better as well with a couple of quirks that l still have to work out due to the small and weird shape of the keyboard.

I forgot to count how many words I typed out this morning but time flew by and by the time I was done and read the story a few times for corrections, it was lunch time.

I really appreciated that part of the process. The fact that time just flew by without too much effort and hence why I decided to write about the writing I’ve been doing for the last couple of days. I need to kill time.

I guess I consider the stuff I type out on the laptop a bit more serious but to be honest I was able to type out my thoughts on the phone pretty well albeit not as fast and easily correctable as this.

While my grammar and punctuation may leave something to be desired, I’m okay with a stream of consciousness vibe for the moment while I figure out other things like organized thoughts.

I’ve been keeping somewhat of a journal of this place including transferring what I wrote on my phone to the Google Docs for future rearrangement into what may possibly be a short story about the last couple of months.

At the moment, I’m not ready to share the complete experiences of these last 8 weeks. I really don’t think it would be fair to many people as I have yet to really digest and come to terms with my emotions about certain situations and people. I do not want to lash out at people for doing things that may have been out of their control and there may still be more information that I need before I completely throw them under the bus. But they probably still deserve a lashing.

The short story I wrote this morning is for sure full of frustration and unprocessed emotion but it did feel great in writing that out.

Writing certainly keeps me from scrolling through too much social media since I have nothing to read at the moment. I do have my tablet and I guess I could read on the computer but it really isn’t the same is it? A book in the hand is like happiness and a warm gun.

So I guess this is a sort of call for writing. A sort of slow way to express oneself when one cannot readily speak or record speech. I wonder if this is how the monks felt. Funny.

Also thank the rock gods for noise cancelling headphones.

That’s all for now. The nurse wants to see me for a sec..